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Here Are The Best Super Bowl Ads So You Don’t Have To Watch The Superb Owl

January 31, 2014

superbowl2Super Bowl XLVIII, America’s collective time-waster or pinnacle of athletic competition, depending on who you ask, takes place this Sunday. Millions will gorge on chicken wings and guacamole while they witness the $4 million anthems to American gluttony, debauchery and consumerism and the football game that takes place in between them.

Most people will watch the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos square off for the  ads, because being told what to buy in humorous, heartwarming or nonsensical ways is much more entertaining than watching a brown, leather ball makes its way down an astroturf field, yard by yard.

So SPOILER ALERT! Here are some of the best ads the Super Bowl will foist upon the viewing audience to pay alms to American consumerism. And some you won’t see because, for some companies, 30 seconds of ad time is prohibitively expensive.

The Heartstring Puller

Watch puppies and horses be friends, and then buy watered-down beer, if you aren’t already drinking watered-down beer.

The Marauding Felt Monsters >>>

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