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Dude Has His Way With a Hot Pocket, Disgust Ensues

February 28, 2014

 poptartsselfie

Oh, how I hope this is a hoax, but might as well fill you in (pun intended). Thot Pockets or @VERSACEPOPTARTS, an anonymous Twitter and Vine user…had sex with a Hot Pocket this week. Reports say he’s an 18-year-old New Englander who works at a seafood restaurant.

The saga, which has turned the weirdo into a pseudo-celeb includes several deleted vines (he also screwed a Pop Tart box), a suspended Vine account and a suspended Twitter account. He was also blocked by Hot Pockets before his account was suspended.

I’ve got a few questions:

Did he take out the Pop Tarts before screwing a box?

Did he eat the Pop Tarts/Hot Pocket after?

How long did he microwave the Hot Pocket for?

Does he know what sploshing is?

What variety did he use?

Really hope he stayed away from the Philly Cheese steak flavor which was recalled a few weeks ago.   If you’ve got a minute, consider taking Buzzfeed’s quiz on What Flavor Hot Pocket You Should Make Love To?

 

 

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  • Will

    As for the poptart, he used brown sugar cinnamon.