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The Style Dossier on How to NOT Get Sloppy Drunk

January 13, 2014
Don't let these get the best of you. (Courtesy)

Don’t let these get the best of you. (Courtesy)

Let’s be honest for a minute ladies and gents, if you signed up for the Cocktail Conference this month you probably planned on getting a little more than tipsy, am I right? We knew it. Now, we know that the main reason for this conference is to try a million and one cocktails that you haven’t tried before, but we’re here to save you from looking like Lindsay Lohan. Seriously its not cute, nobody likes a hot mess. Don’t go down the road to Tackytown. Take a detour and read this to help yourself  NOT get sloppy drunk.

1.) Check yourself before you wreck yourself: 
If you know the night or day your going to be having ahead of you will consist of more than one drink, plan on taking it slow. We all know drinking faster will get you drunk quicker, but that’s a sure way to make you a human puke machine before 10 pm. Nobody likes to babysit (we all know this) so drink sllloooowlllllyyyyyy. It’s not a race its a marathon. Just remember you have all night, or at least till midnight in most cases.

2.) Have a calorie feast:
This just means EAT BEFORE YOU DRINK!! This just might be the most important rule to remember. Never, and we do mean NEVER, drink on an empty stomach. We get it, you want to stay fit. That’s what the gym is for, not the salad bar before a night of hitting up all the bars. You won’t make it to 2 cups of Jungle Juice before wanting to call it quits. If your dinner was a handful of almonds, expect to be hugging the toilet by the end of the night. Instead, order that double cheeseburger and spring for some fries too. You won’t regret it.

3.) Get on that H20 game:
Having a glass of water between drinks doesn’t make you a loser. It makes you smarter than all those amateurs pounding back cherry vodka sours and taking fireball shots like “a boss.” Matching a glass of water with the drinks you have is a good way to make sure you don’t become “that girl”. You know that girl. She’s the one crying in the corner, or yelling at the bartender, or even worse, dancing on the bar when you’re nowhere near Coyote Ugly. It’s alright to know that girl, just don’t be that girl.

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