Tragedy Unfolds As San Antonio Taco Obsession Falters
If you know anyone from Austin, you know they go on and on about breakfast tacos like they invented the damn things. And as they prattle on about the virtues of chorizo and egg, you roll your eyes and think to yourself, “Yeah, yeah.” Now our neighbors to the north have a weapon in the I-35 Taco Wars: a higher ranking in the Most Taco-Crazed Cities in America. This is a travesty.
San Antonio placed fifth. Even Estately, the blog that measured each city’s taco obsession, was surprised, remarking why on earth did San Antonio not place first. That honor went to Arlington of all places, home of the Dallas Cowboys and the most taco-loving people in this great nation, if you want to believe lies.
But let’s address one problem at a time. Austin placed third. And while Austin’s place on the list is only two spots above San Antonio’s, it’s enough for Austinites to think that God descended from heaven onto the Capital of Texas and started spooning carnitas into folded corn tortillas and handing them out to passersby on Congress Avenue like some sort of Mexican Prometheus. No, this cannot stand.
So how did those taco posers beat the more authentically Mexican city down the road? Estately compiled various taco-related data and ranked cities accordingly. The site looked at the percentage of restaurants in each city that served tacos and the number of Facebook users in each city that expressed interest in tacos. (Tacos, by the way, are not an interest; they are a way of life.) Finally, the site calculated each city’s taco-related Google searches, as if that actually means anything.
A look at Estately’s metrics makes one thing abundantly clear. While Austinites are thinking and talking about tacos, San Antonians are too busy eating them. Nobody here has any time to express their taco love when there is actual barbacoa to be had. Instead of advertising our passion for tacos de asada, we’d rather just put them in our mouths and quietly indulge. We’re not trying to impress anybody, after all. We were eating tacos before they were cool.