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The Right’s Catch-22 on Gun Control

January 6, 2013

If we are ever to have a real debate about gun control, conservative right wing republicans are going to have to do something they haven’t done for quite some time. Confront many of their long held arguments on the meaning of the 2nd amendment and dispel their own hypocrisy.

They’ll have to finally admit that the right to bear arms is not (in their opinion) about militias, hunting, the NRA lobby, or even protecting us from another unnecessary bad remake of the movie Red Dawn. They’ll have to publicly admit just how they actually feel.

That the 2nd amendments right to bear arms – guarantee’s the people’s ability to protect themselves from the possibility of a tyrannical American government.

(and NOT the potential scenario where Charlie Sheen, Patrick Swayze, Leah Thompson, and Jennifer Grey use guerrilla tactics against an invading horde of communists… that hope is as dead as…well… Patrick Swayze.)

Left leaning liberals don’t have this problem. Standing up and saying “this is wrong” or “something has to be done to stop this from ever happening again” are inherently correct and match up perfectly with their ideology. The anti-gun lobbies have the moral integrity of their convictions to lead them through any debate and it’s hard to argue against them for that very reason.

Can the Far Right say the same?

As of now, on the negotiating table, the Left has put the bodies of twenty dead kids and a ban on assault-style rifles. The Right has counter offered with a notarized letter stating “Fuck you, queers!” and a petition to deport CNN’s Piers Morgan.

So far, no one has budged from their respected sides – and nor can they. Not until the Right admits once and for all, that they just don’t trust the American Government.

Unfortunately, the Right will never fully admit to this. Not completely. The Right can never publicly embrace this idea because it cripples the narrative they’ve worked so hard to cultivate. That they, and they only, are the party that best represents our Founding Fathers. Built on tea bagging, enemies at the gate, and good ol’ traditional Christian values (while ignoring the fact that the Founding Fathers were mostly immigrant, anti theist, ‘shit-starters’ with progressive new ideas).

But now it’s time to let it all out my right wing friends and face up to the hard questions that come with fierce constitutional patriotism.

Sure it’s easy to slap that ‘Support the Troops’ magnet right next to the ‘PRO LIFE, PRO GOD, PRO GUN’ bumper sticker… but can fire that same gun at those same troops when they come to enforce what you consider an infringement of a constitutional right? The one you thought they were fighting to protect?

It’s one thing to stand up for veterans… but can you stand up to them as well?

The emotional liberal leftist doesn’t have to emotionally face this scenario. They attribute gun violence with guns. It’s simple and it feels right. The idea of bigger government doesn’t quite bother them because – as the Right’s been saying for years – “They want Big Brother in all our lives!”

You’re fucked here Right Wingers – painted yourselves in a corner with the blood of twenty dead kids and there’s only one way out.

Admit publicly that you need weapons to defend yourselves against the tyranny and oppression of authority. Strive to keep government out of people’s lives, especially for all those poor homosexuals who would like to get married. We don’t need “Big Brother” getting involved with legislation in something as personal as the expression of love, right? That would be invasive!

Put some shine on that AK-47 and call out your representatives to repeal ‘The National Defense Authorization Act’, a bill that wipes its ass with the 4th Amendment by allowing the military to detain U.S. citizens on U.S. soil indefinitely and without trial. (Especially for those citizens who don’t believe in the ‘right to bear arms’ you’ve been so busy clamoring about)

Demand that the freedom of speech not be infringed when people you disagree with speak out. Load your weapon so as not one person can be denied the right to say publicly “A fetus is not a human being!” or “Wanting America to ban assault weapons & high-capacity magazines isn’t ‘anti-constitutional’ – it’s called ‘common sense’. #GunControlNow — @piersmorgan”

Stop being a bunch of pussy’s and commit to real constitutional values you bastard sons of Britannia. Defend to the death these freedoms. Take up arms and proudly yell in the spirit of Patrick Henry “Give me liberty, or give me death!” – or at the very least Patrick Swayze…


Then maybe, just possibly, we can have an honest and civilized debate.



Swiss Army Robot is the random bits of written chaos of Jay Whitecotton. You can find him on Facebook or follow him at

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  • Scott A Jones

    This article is stupid the fact is there are over 200 million guns in the u.s. right now that’s roughly one for every single person in america . That means that even if they were banned today the government could never collect them all and criminals would buy them on the street like they do now.
    In a perfect world we wouldn’t have weapons of any kind however this world isn’t perfect and criminals and crazy people have guns and they will get them legal or otherwise!
    So I say to all you that want guns banned go ahead but before you get too excited you might wanna look at countries
    that have banned guns already!

  • Scott A Jones

    For most people It’s like this …criminals have guns they will always be able to get them….so we have guns!

  • Robert

    More importantly, why not focus on more distructive behavior that causes more innocent deaths. Phone/texting while driving and alcohol.

  • Catfish

    The military and veterans are going to be among those that refuse to subjugate themselves and be fingerprinted like a felon just for owning an AR, and that’s AR15 as in Armalite Rifle not “assault rifle.” I see fellow patriots truly proclaiming what you say we won’t by the thousands. You statists are going too far this time.

  • Michael Maryak

    I’m sure that the Jews trusted the German government, the Chinese trusted their government, the Cambodians trusted their government, the Russians DID in fact trust their government and look at how that all ended up for them. We have much more to offer then a leftist tactic of just insulting the opposition. We do have arguments to back up our view point, not just that we love our guns and back off because we love them without any basis.

    We have plenty of arguments and you appear to have done none. Your basis appears to be what you thought of instead of actually talking to someone sensible and level headed on the subject. There is a Catch 22 on your side too, ban guns and crime goes up including violent crime as seen in Australia and most predominately seen in England where the crime rate is higher than the US and even South Africa. Banning these 30 round magazines might reduce mass shootings but could start sniper sprees.

    As for us admitting what the 2nd Amendment is truly about? You’ve been missing it completely as it’s coming out all over. It’s not about hunting, self defense, or target shooting. It’s about the American people defending themselves against a tyrannical government. Those things that the 2nd Amendment isn’t about are all benefits of having the Right to Bear arms.

    More people die from other innocent means that no one seems to care about. It doesn’t appear to be about the number of deaths or how common they are in our daily lives. We hear about people dying in car wrecks all the time and don’t bat an eyelash but when there is a death because of someone using a gun, there is people talking about banning them. We as the American people do not have our priorities in order and are looking for the solution to a problem in the wrong areas.

  • RKflorida

    The 2nd amendment has never been about hunting or shooting sports, it has always been about the people protecting themselves against a tyrannical government, such as the one we are seeing being developed now.

    “If we are ever going to have a mean…. about gun control”: I have no interest in that. There are 23,000 gun laws in the US and it doesn’t seem to be enough, so we need more “conversation” with those who wish to destroy the 2nd amendment. What foolishness.

    Here’s a proposal for you, since the founding fathers didn’t envision word processors, email, Internet, or Television and radio, we can’t consider the 1st amendment to mean what it says. We must restrict the media now! They are subversive! They are destroying the nation! They MUST be controlled, including this blog. If you don’t agree, tough, we know better than you and will do what’s best for you even if you don’t agree.

  • jay whitecotton

    Thanks for the input, though I wasn’t addressing the issue as ‘Anti-Gun’ or even ‘Pro-Gun’ or the merits of either side… just poking fun at all the pundits and political types who muddy up the argument by focusing on ‘hunting, militias, and Ted Nugent albums’,as opposed to an honest constitutionally based dialogue

    I’ll tackle the issue itself a bit later… which will leave no doubt to stupidity ;)

  • jay whitecotton

    Thanks for adding to the conversation, (despite your clear non interest in conversation?) the points you are making are exactly why you should be open to discussion. Using that ‘free speech’ honestly and clearly to examine and debate an issue is not foolish… its down right American… and very appreciated.

  • jay whitecotton

    Thanks! – I’m addressing the many pundits and politicos who hide behind the militia/hunting argument (and have made that the sole argument for at least the past 30 years) in no way am I confusing them for “someone sensible and level headed on the subject”…

    Haven’t met a pundit or politician on either side with those qualities yet.

  • Chieftac2

    You left wing liberals, hide behind private body guards and the Secret Service, and are trying to create a police state, but you insist that I give up my arm’s. You speak of Hypocrites, you are the hypocrite. You support the murder of 3500 of the unborn everyday. You decry when a lunatic you failed to heal in your social service medicare of a mental condition, then want to take away the second amendment, not punish the murderer. This article is garbage, written by a uninformed socialist hack.

  • Chieftac2

    Yes you were, at least be honest about your agenda. You leftest attack and attack, then when your called on it you cowards explain….oh I wasn’t attacking this I was just trying to get everyone to think. Your very indigenous, and not truthful.

  • Ya No

    (1) UNITED STATES CITIZENS- The requirement to detain a person in
    military custody under this section does not extend to citizens of the
    United States.

    So calm down…

  • Chieftac2

    And you believe that. Maybe you should wake up, or even become concerned.

  • Ya No

    Oh I am concerned. But maybe the author of this article should read the full text of H.R. 1540 before misleading his/her readers.

  • jay whitecotton

    Well of course I’m attacking, silly billy… I’m attacking the people who profess Right Wing values, but hide their true beliefs on the 2nd amendment with the cover of hunting and militias…. because to say they don’t trust government flies in the face of the party narrative.

  • jay whitecotton

    This is an excellent point you make here… sorta. but you infer a great deal … for instance… you infer I have the secret service and body guards at my availability…. you infer I’m for killing babies… that I’m a care giver of a lunatic… and that I’m for gun control and anti judiciary process… these are the kind of textbook rhetoric bullet points that actual cause most of the problems when discussing the issues. For instance – I can be for the killing of fetuses AND against infringement of the 2nd amendment at the same time… You can’t just blanket an entire group of people as Left and assume they believe every aspect of just one ideology, dude…. that’s my job!

  • jay whitecotton

    The 2012 version of the NDAA was quite specific in allowing US citizens to be detained on US soil indefinitely by the military… (hence all the ballyhoo) in response Sen. Feinstein of California introduced an amendment in DECEMBER 2012 (you know…that month we lived in just like a coupla weeks ago)… to take that particular provision out… it passed the Senate, but was stripped from the final version before it could clear Congress by Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman Carl Levin. Congress added a provision, Sec. 1029, that claims to ensure that “any person inside the United States” is allowed their constitutional rights, including Habeas Corpus, but the new wording is being challenged because opponents say it does nothing to erase the indefinite detention provision from the previous year. In that Habeas Corpus is just the beginning of due process and the matter of having it and an appearance before a judge is way too open to interpretation. That and it strips any guarantee to a trial by jury. The 2013 bill was signed by Obama just…what 4 days ago? So – yeah – I’m on the story dude. .. But beyond that… how do you personally feel about the 2013 version of NDAA? I personally don’t agree with it for the above reasons, but would be very interested in reading an informed response from you?

  • Dennis Dwyer

    Here is the thing, you absolutely have the right to say everything in this article, and good for you for using those rights that you love to cling to just as much as people who support the 2nd.

  • Wise Guy

    The only people doing that is mass media and fox news. Real people arent represented by Fox, but everytime you leftist make jokes, your commie friends think its reality and that every republican is like that. How about stating the other positions we beleive in such as how MEXICO ALREADY BANNED GUNS, and there is WAY MORE VIOLENCE there. See how laws dont stop criminals, they only MAKE criminals?

  • jay whitecotton

    wait…are you saying we should ban Mexicans?!

    Let me ask you two questions for argument sake…

    1) Exactly what have I written that says I’m for gun control? (would really help – cuz I don’t see it…forest for the trees i guess)

    2) What exactly constitutes as ‘real’ people and do ‘real’ people actually have a say?

    You see – It’s easy to label yourself a Republican or a Democrat, but what do you – as a ‘real’ person do exactly beyond ‘vote’ every two years (maybe)? Write letters, post comments upset because some other ‘real’ person misrepresents how you feel based on a label you can do nothing with?

    You’re not a republican or a conservative.. the same as any other commie hippie bastard isn’t a democrat or liberal – you just ascribe to those philosophies… you’re not an elected official who writes laws and governs the country… so call yourself what you want – doesn’t change the fact that both our opinions are irrelevant – neither one of us is actually creating change. We’re both kinda just masturbating our egos and pretending that ‘this’ is a ‘real’ thing.

    If you want to address how you feel misrepresented by my jokes… maybe you should instead stop blindly following the people who are blatantly misrepresenting you in Government and media outlets… you know actual Republicans and Conservatives who create Laws and Constitutional amendments…

  • Doug

    So… it’s not a constitutional issue? Or, is it? I’ve heard that the government only wants to ban the “assualt rifles” and high capacity magazines. But, I’ve also read that the IRS is arming themselves and preparing urban assualt teams. The good news, according to the articles author, is that this bunch of armed accountants are so bad there is nothing to fear. Obama said in 2007 he wanted a citizen force, as well armed as the military, to police the streets. To do what exactly? Every time someone disagrees with the Obamabots, they are shouted down and ridiculed. Barry and his loyal band of mindnumb ‘bots feel as empowered by the last election, and think they are on the moral high ground (hence your reference to them parading the bodies of children).
    The fact is more people die every year by hammers than by “assault rifles”, and more children die by careless drivers traveling over the legal speed limit. And yet, I hear no fake moral outrage for the banning of roofing hammers (HELLO! It has an axe on one side, and waffle face on the other!) or limit the high speed rated tires.
    An honest civil debate should contain the fact that government is an all absorbing entity, growing at leaps and bounds, with the full intention of total control over our lives. They want to limit what we can eat, how we can act, and control our lives… all in the name of saving the children or lowering health care costs. I have a better idea, you take care of you, I’ll take care of me, and I promise not to fuck with you, you promise not to fuck with me. It’s simple.

  • Invader

    Ok, my turn….1st monkeyboy obamamama is THE ANTICHRIST!!! 2nd. When
    they confiscate ALL the weapons from the gang bangers, the mexican drug
    people here in the USSA, all the black gangs, all the russian mafia
    folks, the Italian mafia, the irish mafia, government officials who pack
    weapons for self defense and any other gang type folks…then maybe
    I’ll consider giving mine up…….Noooo, even then I won’t bcoz we
    still would have a tyrannical government run by criminals and controlled
    by the NWO.

    So the short of it is, buy more weapons
    and ammo b4 you can’t but never at a place you need to show ID. Always
    buy private and NEVER use your real name or register your
    weapons….EVER!!!! If you do they know just where to go to pick’m

    And you folks keep wringing your hands over the control issue. Us, we are ready for whatever comes our way.

    start your lawn gardens as soon as you can. Only buy certified heirloom
    seeds and only buy veggies from reputable local farmers markets. Most
    of your foods including all meats contain GMO/GE and are hazardous to
    your health. Do some research as to what products have GMO poisons in
    them. CEREAL is loaded with it as is all USSA domestic BigAgra Corn.
    Anything with soy or canola oil is loaded with it as well. There are
    many more like Ben & Jerry’s products so do your research and keep
    your family healthy.

    BTW, you may want to quit
    drinking your local tap water. Check it out, if it smells funny and
    isn’t crystal clear, don’t drink it, it’s loaded with chemicals. If you
    have or are planning on drilling a deep well, make sure you check the
    quality/purity of the water as you never know who is pumping crap into
    the ground upstream of your well.

    Good Luck folks….you’re going to need it.

  • Illumenatum

    Jay Whitecotton is a juvenile twit that understands neither the intent of the forefathers in adding the Second Amendment to the Constitution nor that the Second Amendment (per George Washington) secures all the other God given rights enumerated in that document. Were he better educated, he would realize that the Constiyution LIMITS the power of the federal government to certain actions— everything else being reserved to the people and their respective states. His pitiable attempt at cogent writing is a stark example of a failed public education system. The size of his ego obviously exceeds that of his intellect.

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